Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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