sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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