Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
