So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
