You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize