p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
