i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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