I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
