I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
