The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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