I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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