i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
