You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
