I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
