I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i dont even know how to be here
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
