i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
