There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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