why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Someone came in the potted fern
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
