he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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