talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My cat gives me a boner
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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