; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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