the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm having to shit out rocks
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
