I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
