I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
