Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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