we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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