considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
