She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
