so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
