her vagine was all disorganized.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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