So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
