you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
