yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
