you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
