At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
