just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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