Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
