And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
