My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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