shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
