Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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