porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
