There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
