She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
