and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
