I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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