fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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