Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
