she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
