sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
