so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
