are you so shy because you have an std?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
