I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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