Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
