They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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