would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
