i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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