Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
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