I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I need to sanitize my soul.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
