I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
There are leaves in my underwear?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
