FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
