i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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