Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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