She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
