then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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