I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
