Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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