can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
