It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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