How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
