We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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